Friday, May 7, 2010

Family Ties

Sorry for not blogging lately. I had final papers and then took a bit of a break to recuperate. Anyway, I love this movie:

I recently found this video on YouTube and thought it was hilarious. I think it the way she says “he’s a gay man now!” with that accent that makes me just giggle. And my favorite scene is when Jon’s mother is showing him all the magazine pictures of men and talking about how hot they are. Even writing about it makes me laugh and giggle.

That being said, the movie reminded me also of a real concern I’ve been thinking about. I really don’t know how my family will react to me coming out, but I have a feeling that most will not be interested, nor want to hear about my dating life after finding out. I know it’s not a huge concern, but it’s really been troubling me lately.

Currently, I hate having to tell them that I’m not dating anyone because “I just haven’t found anyone I’m really attracted to right now” while thinking, “that you’d want to hear about.” I really appreciate them asking me about it. It shows that they have love and concern for me and that they really are interested in my life. It’s flattering to think that my sister knows girls she’d like to set me up on, even though I’ve never gone beyond a first date with any of them. And usually they’re really good matches, except the fact that I’m not attracted to them like that. At least I know that she wants me to be happy and wants to be involved in my life. Will that change when they find out I’m gay? I can’t imagine that same sister trying to set me up with a man ever. Yet I long to be able to talk openly and freely about my real relationships with other people.

Maybe I’m being a bit superficial, and maybe I’m jumping the gun a bit since I haven’t come out to them yet, but I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s scary at time to consider how a huge part of my world is going to be turned upside down.

Anyway….I don’t like ending on a depressing note so…. “Did you hear about our John? He’s a gay man now!” …giggles.


  1. I love the video clip. Hilarious. British humor is sometimes so off beat?! It is an acquired taste worth acquiring.

    In some ways things get a bit easier when you come out. They quit wanting to set you up all of the time. I got a bit tired of all the blind dates.

    You ask if family relationships will change once you come out? Yes. They do. In my case I think many of the relationships are actually better. I know not everyone can say that though. (My family is full of jack-mos so I think they were a bit predisposed to being a bit more ok with me.)

    You can't prejudge their reactions though. You just never know.

  2. Hey thanks Reina, I guess I have a tendency to over-think and over-predict what others reactions are and will be. It's often a lot better than my predictions. Thanks for sharing.

  3. That video was amazing! Her accent made me laugh to the point of hysteria! But on a more serious note, you expressed many worries about the reactions of your family. In accordance with those fears; Don't worry so much! It is not nearly as big of a deal as many people say!!!!!! It is hard, sure...It is worth it, DEFIANTLY! My mother cried at first but now, 3 months later we play the meanwhile game (aka you see eye candy and the word "Meanwhile" is used to discretely point out the steaming hunk walking by...Needless to say, this game is great fun!) The one thing that mothers of gay children will never say but will always want is a child-in-law! If your mother can't have a daughter in law, a son in law is the next best thing! As for your sisters, when it stops being new and exciting will realize that they have always known, and will start to utilize it. Sure they may not set you up with the guy next door, but they will want to go shopping with you! Just don't panic, If you start to make it seem as if you are ashamed of your differences, your family is sure to follow. Be yourself, it is the only thing you will ever truly be able to be. Have an amazing day, and if you need help with coming out, or just some friendly encouragement send me an email, and we can chat. Everyone deserves some understanding, including you.