I saw this on another blog and felt I had to share it. I'm working on loving myself for who I am, but I cannot deny that when I read this I agreed with it completely. I'm not what most other gay men might think is attractive and I'm not completely attracted to what other people might see as attractive. I just want to find someone who loves me for me.
While the picture you posted is terribly fun to look at, I have no idea if the guy is date-able let alone the type of person I'd want to spend the rest of my life with.
ReplyDeleteMore than good looks, I believe most men are looking for a great smile, a confident demeanor, an open heart, a sense of humor and an ability to listen and to hear. It's these attributes that seem to get people dates as much as or more than chiseled features and a tight ass. 8-)
Just for perspective, I can appreciate the beauty of the man in the above photograph, but if he were a little less cut and a lot more cuddly, and if he had red hair, blue eyes and a red beard, then I would find him much more attractive. (In fact I can't think of any redheaded men I haven't found somewhat attractive throughout my life.)
ReplyDeleteBut those external factors are secondary to his heart, his attitudes, his kindness towards others, that tricky balance between the self-obsessed and the self-assured and the seemingly selfless, his goals, interests, talents, ambition, dental hygiene--dozens if not hundreds of factors that combine to make a certain individual attractive to another individual.
Not trying to brag.. but just to put things in perspective, i do have a perfect body and ironicly look alot like the man in that add. i feel that was a big part of why the boy i got with let me into his life... however, just like with a boy and a girl. when you base so much on lust and looks. it ends up bad... our conversations became meaningless and we just took things way to far, to make up for the dry relationship that had evolved. now i wish more then anything that i would have just found a better friend to talk to about what i was dealing with then letting my canral mind pick another hottie to relate to... all i can say is danger!
ReplyDeleteThe two people I've most fallen for have been possibly the furthest from my physical "ideal". It's not that I was blind to that fact, it's that who they were made the physical stuff unimportant in comparison. It's been nice to know I'm not completely shallow. ;-) Granted, I still think they're pretty good-lookin', and I haven't fallen for people of certain physical types, so I don't yet know if I could and can't personally offer reassurances on that front. I think we all have a 'type', and we're all someone's type, and matching up can be a pain in the butt...or a pleasant/fun search, if you abandon the negative comparison baggage (I know, easier said than done).
ReplyDeleteI have been attracted to a couple of people who just weren't into my "type", whether because of age or build or skin type or whatever, and I think it's a growing pain but necessary step to come to terms with that reality, focus on who you are and what you do offer, and work on the things you can change within reason and for personal growth reasons rather than just to meet some arbitrary ideal, and let go of the stuff you can't change and keep an eye out for the people who truly see who and what you are.
Not sure if that's helpful, but y'know, thought I'd say something.